I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU---AMERICAN IDOL

I am ashamed of myself for being a fanatic of  American Idol this season. You see, there was this one singer, well 3.  The one on Idol’s  name is Elise Testone and she reminded me of two my other rock idols. Janice Joplin and Stevie Nicks. Stevie also thinks Elise is swell. I mean dope.   She appeared on AI and sang with Elise. Well, the public and the AI judges didn’t agree with me or Stevie. We will never know what Janice would have said, but I think she would have also been a  fan.   I can see in my mind’s eye, the two performing a smoky hot growling duet.  I loved the way Janice talked to the audience like she was in her living room holding that glass of whiskey in her hand. I thought it was cool. Attending  her concerts was akin to being in an intimate setting like a bar

Elise is from New Jersey;  rocked out in bars, speaks her mind and is a true artist, most of which are not valued at Idol; even though the judges are always contradicting themselves on this and a multitude of other statements. Elise is smart She’s a music teacher. She questioned, got a bit well ”testy”   when criticised unfairly and this angered some of the fan base putting her in jeopardy most of the time.   Jimmy Lovine, famous producer and the new Simon Cowell for his cruel (I mean true criticisms)of the idols said and  he didn’t like Elise on Queen’s “I Want It All” (“it comes off clubby” from “a nightclub somewhere in the back of beyond”)      Am I the only one who likes the idea of a nightclub near  the back of beyond?  In her last song she had the gall to sing Jimmy Hendricks. She unlike many of the other contestants actually knew who  Hendrix was and had experience in an actual “bar” singing “Bold as Love“  as a requested song. Unfortunately the judges and other kids didn’t agree, and she was sent home packing. Lovine always the witty one, called it  “a double down on bad choices  I don’t know what he means by that but I don’t like it.

 I don’t hate myself because I joined her fan club, I don’t hate myself because I voted my aging fingers off voting to keep a true rock singer and artist in the Idol mix or for even watching Idol. I hate myself because as usual, I got too involved, too enthusiastic and then started despising my myself for being so optimistic . I should have known Janice, Stevie, Elise and Marilyn-me, march to a different drummer. Elise is 28, not classically beautiful though sexy and extremely cute talks and she talks  back to men in charge. I like that. I hope she drinks some Jack Daniels like I did last night and doesn’t feel as bad as I do.   I think she will be a star. I wanted to be a star once. I wanted to sing, dance and be almost  famous.  One day I will write a poem about Elise and about  how much I idolize her but now I’m depressed about my compulsive involvement in the process of making other people rich and famous, (the judges and producers not Elise). I miss you Elise. I am your ET fan #119 and  I will buy your first album.  I won’t hate myself for loving you.