Posted by: marilynmendoza | December 11, 2011

How many friends are too many– Part one,


I had to unfollow someone from Twitter because I couldn’t stand her constant self-promotion.She was the first person I had to unfollow. I have never unfriended anyone on Facebook and I was wondering  what reasons I would do so. This has been quite the week. I’ve fired a woman who took me to appointments and that was traumatic for me. I was only fired once by Burger King but that was years ago and it was because I have a hard time seeing the differences in the sizes of buns; hamburger buns that is.It’s a spatial failing of mine.  But  I was wondering how egregious someone’s behavior had to be before I ended a virtual friendship and how many friends are too many.

  Many of my FB friends have up to a thousand or in the case of the semi-well known, many thousands of friends but how can you really be a friend to a thousand people. In real life, one person called me today on my landline, no one on my cell phone except for my man. So, if in real life so few people want to befriend me, how many friends are too many in all means?   I have only a few friends in Hawaii I can call in the middle of the night in an emergency. Ok, two. That is supposed to be the defining characteristic of true friendship.   But in the computer world I have many I trust to help with my most intimate problems. I am not counting the people I have met either before or after I met them on-line. I am talking about virtual strangers.

   I want to be a friend to all my friends and comment on their walls and care about them so I plan to stop  at some number when I find that proves to be impossible. I also plan to see how my choices turn out with friends of friends and even my first on-line connections who don’t seem to be connecting with me anymore. I am told this is career suicide since I am a writer and thus depend on those friends to help promote my book. To those I say in my NY way. So what, who cares?  I want to know that my friends on any social medium are friends I would pick in any circumstance. In most cases I find I would and that I’ve been so lucky to meet so many people I wouldn’t have a chance to meet here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in the most isolated island in the world;  Hawaii.

Thus, my conundrum. I have done this week what I’ve always had trouble doing; letting go of people who are unsuitable for me in some way. I ended my relationship with my driver not because she hung up on me, though that was the final nail in the coffin. I did it because she continued to be a negative influence in my life and ending relationships is a difficult task for me. I unfollowed the Twitter person because I hated her tweets. I felt that we had zero in common and I disliked her Twitter persona. That is why a friendship should end in any medium. I am getting brave but I want to let people know if they are my kind of person like most of my friends are, I will continue being a faithful and loyal friend until I hit 250 people. Any more and I wouldn’t be able to keep up the responsibility that real friendship requires. I also will not have time for dancing, walking my dog, and writing which brought me to social media in the first place and most importantly I won’t be able to fit into my computer chair..

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Responses

  1. This is a good statement and one I am also considering at present. A good time for resolutions!

    • Thank you Connie D. I want to be a good friend to the friends I have both on line and off aloha


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