Posted by: marilynmendoza | March 14, 2012

Slamming for Sanity


A light bulb went off in my tired brain today. I want to do something for the population out there who like me only had the pen to express and expel their pain. Writing has helped me so much in my life even when I didn’t realize it. I participated in a poetry slam recently for young people (well everyone seems young to me now) who were residents of a drug rehab, a wonderful one named Habilitat in Hawaii. The passion and talent that came out of those kids who were going through change and healing made me think of other people out there who are in pain and want to scream, slam and shout.

 I am healing from a severe anxiety disorder with agoraphobia which means I spend a lot of time at home on purpose. I am a people person so this is hard and I am still working on my journey to healing which my book came out of blah blah blah, the book again.

  I was told to get a platform to sell my book, but as life tells you and you listen or not, that my real purpose is helper. I was a teacher, a crime victim advocate, a mother, a girlfriend, a wife, and a dog guardian. My idea is to start a place here somewhere on the net to let others who haven’t a voice (or think they haven’t) reveal their talent. I will try to put a book together one day for the best or the loudest. If you want to join me in any way. No, I am not asking for donations of money or even time. Just send me your poetry, your slams and lets slam for sanity.

 I will end this post with one of mine that was written in a time of pain as usual a man who I thought I could force to love me. I am the daughter of a mentally ill mother who mocked and shamed me,and a father who ignored me. I was bullied at school, raped and knifed at 19 and searched for approval from men my whole life. Then I learned love is not hiding your flaws, because you can never hide from yourself. So, I took the path of revealing my pain, in writing slams and , poetry, then my memoir that told Me the whole story of my life that had me so confused. And I am on the way to good mental health. Come join me in my fight for others who don’t belong to the mainstream of beauty or success and especially those who suffer from a mental illness because the stigma they face is as bad as the pain of the illness 

        for Juan

 

Breaking me down, my self-esteem to the ground

 

The bourbon made you brave

Laid me in a grave

 

You talked about scars

 

You went too far

 

Mine can be erased

 

Yours must be faced

 

“You’re a dancer you said,

 

“Put your legs over your head”

 

Brought me to my knees

 

To hide your inadequacies

 

Attacked me to my core

 

You really went to war

 

Forgetting the time

 

You said love was blind

 

You said you needed me more than I needed you

 

You once said I was beautiful

 

Your eyes said it was true

 

You said I made you cry

 

But you’re dead deep inside

 

When I danced for you the very first day

 

My sexual power blew you away

 

Now you sit in your goodwill chair

 

And when I dance you pretend I m not there

 

Breaking me down to build you up

 

You aren’t worthy to drink from my cup

 

So sip your beer, I’ll go away

 

I’ll build myself up and forget you one day

 

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Responses

  1. “My sexual power blew you away”…amazingly expressed

    • Thank you, I kept my poetry hidden for a long time. Now it it out

  2. awesome!

    • Thank you. I think I wrote it with passion and that is what makes any poetry or work good aloha

  3. You’re so talented, Maya! Great poem.

  4. Thank you Grace, Pain can result in pretty good poetry. I am so grateful I met you. We get what we need sometimes. aloha


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