Posted by: marilynmendoza | May 2, 2012


I used to have daily panic attacks and am in a healing mode at the moment. Yet, there are things other than scary news that scare me. I will just list a few that have been recent culprits in my quest for Zen

1. Tan Mom

I saw this photo and hid under my bed. I have a reason. When I was 4, there was a girl named Madeline.I never forgot her name.  She had been burned in a fire. I hid my head in my mother’s sleeve whenever she appeared. My mother forced me to look at her and be polite but her burns were so horrific I began to feel scared of life.  I knew in my child’s mind, someone should help her. Tan mom doesn’t look as bad but why go for this look?  Lady, one word for you “Melanoma” Ok, another few words. “Parenting classes” The real question is why are we training our children by our example that having a certain look, which always changes are the way to be a success in life.  I hope that Madeline got the help she needed and I wonder what she would think of Tan Mom?

 My therapist.

  I read an article in “O” magazine. (You can browse my former posts on my magazine addiction), that we need to do an agenda cleanse. By the way. Martha Beck is a wonderful life coach and one reason I still read Oprah. I have decided to keep my magazine addiction to a bare minimum. I did a truth and agenda cleanse when I wrote my book. I did not know my own truth so how could I attract people who treated me decently?  In the article she writes “See if your real agenda aligns with your apparent agenda” This brought me to my apparent agenda for firing my therapist. Her office is too far from my home. This is true. It is also true that she had more issues than I do. She told me to speak more quietly 2 times in as many weeks. She also was angry when I tried to cancel an appointment. Yet, I still kept seeing her because my real agenda was –She was scary and my pattern is to walk on eggshells around scary people. She also wasn’t a good listener, talked more about herself and her life “because I could take it” than concentrating on me.  She also laughed in my face and told me she wasn’t laughing at me but with me because I’m funny. Lady, I’m not “that funny. ” You were laughing at me. Check your agenda!  Anyway, I fired her when I saw the truth and did the agenda cleanse. I’m scared of you therapist and can’t tell you this in person. I’m not that Zen yet

I’m scared of some witches

It started with a comic book I read as a child. I read it and learned that witches lived in cellars. Since  Brooklyn NY is full of cellars, this fact caused a lot of anxiety when I was a child.  I am happy that this particular fear is gone. I think the idea of witches came from the great  power women possess and was a way to subjugate us. Yet, I was still afraid until I met a real witch. No, I don’t mean Glenda from the ‘Wizard of OZ”  This was a good witch who helped me concoct a good spell to get rid of a bad man in my house and life. I did the spell. I don’t  know if the spell or calling the police did the “trick” but he is long gone. D  practiced Wiccan and helped me during a bad time. I found her on a break up site on the internet. This proves the internet is good for meeting unusual people.   I don’t study witchcraft but I know burning anyone is wrong. Isn’t tanning a kind of burning?. Ok, I’m not going to go there and scare myself. As the cowardly lion said “ I do believe in ghosts, I do believe in ghosts”  but  no longer have a  fear of them or most other things, but Tan Mom came close.



  1. I think it shouldn’t go unmentioned that tan mom was from new jersey…

  2. That woman creeps me out. She kinda reminds me of the over-tanned woman in There’s Something About Mary…she was so gross looking it made you vomit a little in your mouth.

  3. CAN I JUST SAY OH MY GO# IN HEAVEN … i haven’t read your whole post, but i just had to comment on this crazy skin, mothering behavior. WHAT’S ON HER FACE???? It’s like a big malignant melanoma. This is quite silly.

    I try not to judge, BUT COME ON!!!!

    • The problem is not that she let or daughter in the tanning bed or not, the problem is that she thinks this is pretty and will influence her daughter that she should also do this. I suspect mental illness though someone mentioned she is from NJ. Even Snookie says this is insane

      • It’s a VERY sad Snookie day!

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