Posted by: marilynmendoza | May 5, 2012


I heard Tan Mom  make this statement to her detractors on TV. I have heard these things said to me also in my past so my first inclination was to take it personally. But thank’s to “The Four Agreements” by Don Luis Miguel, I learned that this is about her, not me. She is angry. She has a right to be angry. The comedian Jimmy Kimmel said she looked like Wiley Coyote after the dynamite stick blew up in his face. I thought this was funny until I saw the photo below and felt that yet again a vulnerable  woman, not a celebrity was being thrown to the wolves.  

Before you hate this woman because of her ignorant statements, do what I did, don’t take it personally. She obviously was told that fat, ugly and pasty white were bad things to be. We have tapes that our “parents” give us about what is acceptable for girls and women to be considered pretty by society and if they don’t conform they will not get the glass slipper at the end of the fairy tale. In NJ where Tan Mom is from, being tan is a sign of attractiveness. The fact that she took tanning a tad too far shows that her reasoning skills are poor. She probably thought if tan is good, burned is better. Or, she doesn’t think she is too tan and is in danger of getting skin cancer.  I am not jealous of Tan Mom. I am pale and even though I am part Latina and live in Hawaii, it never felt right for me to tan. I had a bad acne problem and preferred a pasty cover all makeup than a red glowing face. I once had a big pimple on my nose which prompted my mother and other “jealous” people to call me Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer. I still had boyfriends because of my agreeable personality and shapely figure, yet, the words or tapes of my mother stayed with me. Perhaps Tan Mom from Nutley, New Jersey heard some of those comments and instead of hiding inside and fearing the world like I once did, she is up for a fight.  I admire that in a way.

They’re jealous, they’re fat and they’re ugly,” the 44-year-old who looks decades older told TMZ, saying she’s the victim of a witch hunt and “there’s somebody out there my whole life who doesn’t like me.”

It is you Tan Mom who is your enemy.   You have problems far greater than your appearance or even your legal woes.  Get help for your anger . It’s not easy being the daughter of an angry person with low self-esteem. I know that for a fact. That was my life and the only way to cure it is to stop letting the distorted magic mirror take you to the land where tanning beds lead to Reality TV and the loss of your precious daughter. And to the press, who ridicule,  I say, not everyone is fair game.



  1. There are many people in this world that think if a little bit is good a lot is better and in most cases that is not true. You see it with hairdo’s, fashion statements, food, and even laundry detergent. We need to be teaching our young people everything in moderation. I haven’t been following the case since it came out although I did hear Jimmy Kimmel’s comment but consider the source there. Do we ever bother to look at the education of a person, or their ability to reason about these situations, or is it easier to act like the Salmon witch hunts and just crucify any innocent person for their bad choice. If that’s the case we should all be crucified because there is not a person who hasn’t made a bad choice at some point in their life. Yes, she took it too far but where were the Tanning Salon Attendants who are suppose to help with this. What can she do to correct it now. They should have guided her

    • I was that way with food. also a bad idea

      • We all have our good, bad, and ugly, sides to us. We need to learn everything in balance makes for a better life. I learned the hard way when I became allergic to bananas after only being able to eat them for ten days due to gall bladder attacks. Now I don’t overeat any particular food for fear of allergy reactions.
        I still overeat. I need to get more active but I did exercise this morning and may go for a walk today. One day at a time working towards getting more mobility. We all have our own burden to bear . LOL Take care and have a great day 🙂

      • Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am also battling my food addiction on a daily basis with a recent setback. Keep the faith Aloha

      • Marilyn I had a recent set back also but I’m through no more soda, or sugar. My body can’t handle it. I am going to water and tea and eating moderately and healthy. No more picking or sweets unless it’s a special occasion. I am exercising everyday and fighting back. I want my life back.

      • Let’s help each me at mayameha at yahoo. I know what you are going through. I am dealing with a bad setback due to past trauma and I gained 10 of the 65 I had lost 10 years ago. It is amazing how fast you can go back to your past if you aren’t vigilent. love ya Marilyn Maya

      • Thanks Marilyn. I’m just frustrated with doctors who don’t tell you everything. I now have my doctor on top of it and we will get it under control. That’s why I hate going to specialist. They don’t see you on a regular basis and they don’t build that rapport with you. I will send you an email when things calm down. This week is crazy.
        Thanks for being there Love ya jana

  2. Moderation. Period. End of Sermon here!

  3. As usual, this latest fiasco as eluded me although I have seen pictures of a rather strange looking woman lately. Her moniker is Tan Mom, huh? I hope no one “hates” this woman but instead feels compassion for her. It seems like lately we have lots of opportunities to feel compassion.

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