Posted by: marilynmendoza | July 20, 2012


First of all I want to offer my condolences and empathy  to all those who knew someone who perished or were injured in this horrific massacre. Innocent movie goers become  victims of an evil and disturbed individual. Today,  anger exploded on all fronts. The anti-gun control advocates were urging Piers Morgan to wait until this tragedy was figured out before starting up the fight to ban all assault weapons and Morgan angrily replied if it had been figured out yesterday this wouldn’t have happened. Anger exploded. The people who are in fear of the mentally ill began railing at the “crazies” in our society. The mentally ill fighting stigma were silenced for a minute, too afraid to respond with the facts. The majority of the mentally ill are not violent. .  I suffer from a mental illness and I have never met a violent sufferer yet.   But in the heat of fear and ignorance people want answers and someone to blame beside the perpetrator. This is normal human behavior. But so are love, hope and compassion.

Mother blogs were angry at the “type”  of parent who takes their month old children to violent movies at midnight.  Others were pleading for tolerance and informing the more affluent mothers that young parents don’t always have money for babysitters.  I was a teenage wife and parent and I sometimes brought my children to inappropriate places; once to a job interview and then to a nightclub in Puerto Rico.  

Violent movies and games were one of the major offenders to blame but media psychologists reported that the angry and disenfranchised were more likely to become lone wolves lashing out at society than those who played Halo.  They said violent games were not proven to be correlated to these brutal incidents.   The opposers were sure that violence breeds violence and that we should go back to the days of yore.  Hello Andy and Bee, goodbye Dexter. They have a point but time and technology prevents back to the future type innocence.

But throughout the fighting, there is a mutual sadness and  love for those that are lost that rises  like light against the darkness of death and  brings us together in one human being. As Anne Frank so eloquently said. Despite everything, I believe that. people are really good at heart.” 

This said in the face of inhuman horror and genocide.  We must never forget that time in history and we must never forget this one.

 We come together tonight  as compassionate humans wanting to help one another in this time of tragedy. Inhumanity brings out the best in humans who love and care for others who suffer. My wish is that when the anger dissipates  and leaves in its wake only grief and hope all parties can communicate effectively on these important matters and reach consensus.  Now it is time for mourning those who were lost and think of the families going through unbelievable agony. Life is precious, life is fragile. We must remember this truth and not forget the individuals who were lost as well as the pain that remains. There is no answer except love.


  1. Wishing, hoping, and dreaming for a better world to follow is a fairy tale to most. The only thing I found that works, and most effectively, is if good people will fall on their knees and pray to who ever they worship for those families left behind. Pray for yjr killer as well. A man is not totally lost until the end of his days. If he has not turned his life around by then, and I’ve seen it happen, he is lost forever.

    Where eagles fly,
    Don (Greywolf)

  2. Hi Marilyn,
    I agree with you in most of what you say. Fear begets fear, anger fuels the fire of anger. Bottom line: how does an individual, a human being with all of the faculties for love, respect appreciation etc. arrive at the abyss? How does a human being reach the state where the only road to validation is to destroy others?

    I have acted in violence, though I never sought to advertise the fact. Leaving an LA club with friends we were set upon by a group of “gay bashers” (circa 1987) I was the only girl in the group of individuals I respected and enjoyed the company of because of their talents and sensitivities. We were accosted (there were 5 of “us” and 7 of “them”) and I was so angered by the situation I most certainly wasn’t thinking rationally. Hearing the jeers of “fag hag” from our antagonists I reacted. Yes that was not the most mature choice. But I was an 18 year-old student and being a 5’11” “Malibu Barbie” type with straight blonde hair down to my ass and legs a mile long, and in good shape, I was ready for a scuffle. I was unarmed – aside from common sense and a big helping of attitude.

    Those were the days before cell phones etc. and I found myself faced with a group of guys that, for no apparent reason, just wanted to go out and beat people up. It wasn’t hard to single out the “leader” so I immediately challenged him. One on one, either he’d put the “fag hag” in her place, or he’d get his ass kicked by a girl. After considerable posturing and exchanges of insults, the “bad boys” backed off.

    I genuinely grieve for the children of individuals with no common sense or sense of solidarity.

    We have to provide the example – words are only that.

    All the best to you.


  3. I believe he did this because noone was there for him. Noone cared about him. So while ur living ur life check on and care about ppl. Be someone ppl can call if they need to and let them know they have someone on their side. I guess he wanted ppl to suffer like he was suffering inside. Im not justifying his actions by no means but we dont want this stuff to continue to keep happening. We have to reach out and help others and care and not just think of ourselves.

    • I agree with your comment except he had family and friends who had no idea he had problems and didn’t want to talk about it. He had an evil plan and whatever his motive was, it doesn’t justify his actions. I know you said you agree but sometimes we can’t help others if they don’t want help. Aloha

  4. Theres something about agoraphobia the fear of enclosed or crowded spaces. I know this wasnt the situation. He prepaired himself for this.

    • Hi Andrea,
      I am not saying at all this man had agoraphobia. People with agoraphobia are afraid of going out of the house. He was evil and planned this in advance so mental illness defense will not work for him thankfully. My story is panic attacks and agoraphobia and most mentally ill are not violent. Aloha

  5. We cannot get into the mind of a killer, especially one who goes out on a tangent and does something senseless. Which is to say that what he has done does not make sense to many others.
    As genetics goes… sometimes the breeding roulette wheel gets a little off-kilter. And this would be at no fault of his parents, especially when they did not know there was a problem — this young male did not live at home any longer.

    Most actions like this are “senseless” to most of us who can be clumped into the “rational” demographics. Although the person committing these acts thinks his or her actions make perfect sense to them.

    Andrea — some people hide their mental or social issues from even their closest friends. And yes, to some point it sounds like this murderer was hurting inside, maybe, but he wanted to inflict pain upon others and he did just that.

    Some murderers, like, for example, Glendon Gouker, Oklahoma, is a pastor’s son. And his mom did stand up for her son within the first 24-ish hours of her son’s transgressions (okay this is an understatement), but it took her a few days to get more of the facts of her son’s actions and call upon the stepmom and ask permission to apologize to the stepmom and the mom.

    There is a time when we have to let our kids go off to college, go off and live a life of their own. And with such a mobil society our children do not stay as close to their parents as they once did. And sometimes they are ticking bombs. And Free Will enables them, us, to all choose our own actions. Some people choose good behaviors, others choose destructive behaviors that shock even their own mom’s.

    I too am saddened by some and thank God it is fewer of our species’ actions that are detrimental to others. I am praying for the families and friends affected by this self centered set of destructive actions.

    May the families and friends soon able to replace most of these bad memories with the memories of their loved ones and their smiling memories that were able to build with them. Amem

  6. Conscience is a soul quality that is eternal in the human being but that has developed over the past few millenia since it began more external to an inward sense. It is closely related to the Christ Mystery (the crucifixion and resurrection). Yet we must ask ourselves: When we think of the Romans feeding the early Christians to the lions and the genocides of the 20th century, how has conscience developed in humanity these past 2,000 years? And yes, when a deranged individual commits an unspeakable act such as the movie theatre massacre in Colorado, what was living in this person’s mind and heart that s/he could act in this manner? The taking of a human life is a horrific crime, and murder bodes not only ill for the perpetrator, but heavy in its karmic consequences.

    But we must never lose sight of the victims–not in a spirit of retribution, but with grief and sorrow at the loss and any suffering they and their loved ones feel/felt. This can become a blessing, when we gather around the families and friends in the spirit of love and sisterhood/brotherhood–with mercy and forgiveness, for we know that these are even more important than selfless sacrifice (Christ)–, and join hands and hearts in rememberance to establish the real closeness that can be felt by those who have lost the physical presence of a loved one to human death.

    This closeness was not so long ago the norm, but in our age of materialism, with so much else, we have lost what lived in traditions as daily reality and must regain with conscious intention and insight into the deeper meaning of human and historical events, personalities and individualities, and spirits (spiritual beings).

    The thinking and meditative path of anthroposophy offers one such avenue of approach and supplies the student with inexhaustible inner resources in our demanding and confusing times. The horrors that occur even in wealthy western society from time to time belong to our age as much as they did to the Medieval European or the Ancient Roman, but we must not allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by their sadness, rather witness the dawn of each new day with the reappearance of the sun. As Christian Morgenstern (1871-1914), the German lyric poet, once said: We live at the dawn of a new Christianity. And Anne Frank was absolutely right. Human beings are fundamentally good. It”s our simple nature as the sunlight shining or the soul awakening again.

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